Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Farmville is her only friend.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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