both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
