how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
