the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
