No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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