Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
