i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
