I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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