you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
