thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
