so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
