i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I CAN MOONWALK!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Shame - the story of my life.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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