watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
