I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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