hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We talked him into tasing himself.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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