I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
