rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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