my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
