I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This is the high leading the old right now
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
