Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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