Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
