Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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