he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
