I got chris browned last night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
