omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Verdict: uncircumcised.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
