If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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