So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
