dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
