Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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