Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
