Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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