Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
