I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize