But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I need to align my fucking chakras
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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