i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize