I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
