what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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