i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
