her vagine was all disorganized.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
