I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
