If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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