How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
