first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
ttyl tear gas
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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