Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
