if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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