so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
