No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
