one might say we're banned from that church
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
