whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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