Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
