WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize