Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
