gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
