Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
