She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
