OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
