omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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