p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
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