Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize