Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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